What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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