Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
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