Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
