She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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