Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm both gender and math confused
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
