i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
honey bunches of taint.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
