How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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