I love watching others lives come down to our level.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
