Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
