These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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