I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
how drunk are you?
Several
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
