I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
