Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
