My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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