I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
