Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
