"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
