dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
