HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
