all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
