I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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