I am full of burrito and curiosity
This house was built for laser tag.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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