Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
