white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
don't judge my taste in strippers
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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