Don't you send me to vm
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
