Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize