Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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