Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
