I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
