Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I need to align my fucking chakras
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
