Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
