He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
