Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
