i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I would fuck him just for his dog
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize