Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
