help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I am available for nakedness
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
