I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
