Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
