you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
