i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
There r osticjed everywhere
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
