Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize