David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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