Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
