I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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