definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
