Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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