Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
