Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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