I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
