yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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