I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize