it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
