Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
