She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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