how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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