So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
