we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize