I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
