i permit you to call me
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
