He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
