Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
