Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He did a backflip because drugs
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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