So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
