He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
