There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
being pregnant is like rehab
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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