omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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