You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
