i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
