also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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