So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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