One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
