i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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