i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
