I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
